Company is coming...!

There is no better way to get me to clean my house than the knowledge that company will arrive soon! We live in CHAOS...the Can't Have Anyone Over Syndrome...a big part of the time. That is sad, because I used to teach organizational seminars. Key words here: used to.

Actually, I practice what I preach/teach, but when life gets a little too busy, which it has been lately...things sort of fall by the wayside.

In the past month, I've:

begun teaching a young lady to sew (she hasn't come back for any more lessons, so I don't know if she hated it or me...or decided it wasn't as fun as she thought it would be or it could be that she's a teenager and has a LIFE!)

led the worship music for three separate weekend retreats

wrote/acted in the comedy sketches for one of those retreats

did my stand-up comedy routine (sitting down) for about 160 ladies at Middlebrook Pike United Methodist Church

been practicing with an awesome director and choir (as a soprano and one of the narrators) for our Easter presentation/cantata which will be presented this weekend (no, it isn't Easter, but that's when we always do it!)

had the wonderful privilege to participate as part of the worship teams at our church every Sunday night and on some Sunday mornings

reorganized my kitchen, switching everything into cupboards on opposite sides of the room (poor hubby is still baffled)

cooked a few meals (key word: few)

kept up with the laundry (clean skivvies!)

bought some new clothes to fit my (hopefully) continually shrinking body because my daughter can't stand to look at me in my baggy jeans (the make-me-feel-skinnier-even-if-they-DO-look-awful-on-me-and-I-wear-them-anyway-when-I'm-not-going-to-see-her jeans)

attended more committee meetings than I wanted to...but ended up being glad I was there for each of them

repaired a couple of knit shirts for my neighbor, did alterations on several prom dresses, a wedding dress, a mother-of-the-bride dress and a couple of pants for a woman (whose legs were way too short for the amount of denim in the legs of those jeans!)

taught a Bible study for my hubby one Wednesday night

spoke to our Junior and Senior Youth about "Mercy & Grace" last Wednesday evening

did all the regular stuff that I do on a day to day basis

and shaved my legs every single day just like i have for the past two years. Okay, shaving my legs isn't that big of a deal, but it is the only new years' resolution I've ever kept in my LIFE!!!

I'm sure I've left out a thing or three...but you get the idea. It is Monday night and company will be arriving on Wednesday. The downstairs is nearly clean and the upstairs rooms will be tackled in the morning. What is funny about all this is the people who will be visiting are the very people who are so easy to have as guests that I really don't have to go to all this fuss. But I am...because I CAN'T STAND IT ANYMORE!!!!

Hope they notice that I've dusted. Last time they were here, they could have written their names in 3-D on my table in the den...



Always remember: if you have a pulse, you have a purpose...make your life count!

Cars

This woman loves to watch television shows like Chasing Classic Cars, Inside West Coast Customs and Overhauled with her hubby.

We have some movie channels that come with our Charter Cable, but watching cars being restored is quite interesting to me. I used to see Xzibit (the guy that shows up sometimes on Extreme Makeover: Home Edition but I can't remember what else he does) when he hosted Pimp My Ride...but haven't seen that show in a long time. Is it even on anymore? And then there is Mecum's Auto Auctions where you can see the financial returns on Wayne Carini's investments. Wow!

But I digress.

What is it about these car shows that I enjoy so much?!? I suppose the restoration process is what captures my attention. Something that looks beyond repair or value to the everyday person's eye can be changed into a vehicle that could fetch a pretty price...well, that simply amazes me.

Maybe that's the same reason I like to view What Not To Wear because Stacy, Clinton, that hair guy and Carmindy do the same thing for a woman that Foose does for a car! There is a sermon illustration in here somewhere, and if my husband reads this, he'll likely find one...but I don't do sermons. There is something to be said, though, for taking something in terrible condition and worthless and making it into something of great value. So can I get an "amen" from the corner?!?

Again, I digress.

In 1972, I paid $500 for a 1967 red Ford Mustang. It burned oil a little bit, but my daddy did some work on it, and it ran like a top! Thank you, Daddy.

Then a fiancé kept it running like a top (even though he was a Chevrolet man). Six weeks before the wedding we mutually agreed that we loved one another but not enough to spend the rest of our lives together, so we called it off! While we were together he added many bells and whistles to that Mustang! Thanks, Dean.

We parted in July of 1973 and the next February, I met the man I was destined to spend my life with. After we became engaged, wedding plans were made. I tried to keep on a small budget since I was paying for the wedding myself. Because I had been living on my own for three years, I figured my parents didn't need to...

So, when it came close to the big day, I sold my beautiful red Mustang to pay for the wedding. I paid $500 for it in 1972 and made $750 for it in 1974.

When I get hacked off with my husband, I tell him how much I miss my car.

Surprise!!!

Well, friends...I'll admit to you here and now that I have always loved Kenny Rogers. Back in the sixties when it was "Kenny Rogers & the First Edition" I was an instant fan. His voice and vibrato makes me happy! In 1984, when I did mornings at US-101 FM in Chattanooga, I was supposed to emcee one of his concerts. I was so pumped and I couldn't believe I'd get to do it! Then my program director gave me the date of the concert. The same night my brother-in-law was getting married! I had to sing at the wedding... You don't want to know how I felt about that. Seriously. You. Don't. Want. To. Know.

Thanks to my daughter, I got to meet Kenny when he was rehearsing for a halftime show with the University of Tennessee's Pride of the Southland Marching Band. I have a picture of Hannah, Kenny and me to prove that we met, but I can't find it. He looked like he was surprised to meet me...but I'm getting ahead of my story...

Last night, I couldn't breathe, hence I couldn't get to sleep. Plus this time change thing always messes me up. You don't want to know how I feel about that either. I was watching "Late Night With Jimmy Fallon" and was pleasantly surprised when he introduced Kenny Rogers as his guest! Well, Kenny strode out onto the stage, looking fit and topped off with that beautiful white hair. Then I got a look at his face. Yep. It was still there...that surprised look his eyebrows still have YEARS after his plastic surgery.

I have a few friends who needed to have their eyes 'worked on' because the eyelids were drooping enough to hinder their eyesight. One friend actually had her eyelashes starting to become ingrown because of the weight of her eyelids covering her lashes!!! I totally understand why people have to have this done. I may have to someday myself. And I'm ready to look surprised for a while, like my friends all looked shortly after their surgeries. But........hello? Kenny STILL looks that way!

I wonder if he ever has a problem with blinking? Can he completely close his eyes? What expression does he show when he really is surprised?!?

Those ponderings lead me to other questions that I would like answered:

Why is "phonics" not spelled the way it sounds?

If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it?

If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?




Remember that if you have a pulse, you have a purpose...so make your life count!

Memories of Mother

Lena Miller had dainty little things (doilies, glass bedside lamps, etc.) here and there throughout the house as I was growing up. Actually, I should have said 'parsonages' because I lived in a total of seven parsonages from my birth till I was 18 years old. Greensboro, North Carolina to Galax, Virginia to Woodlawn, then Abingdon, Virginia...then they made me be a yankee and we moved to McComb, Ohio, then Sabina. I moved to Columbus, Ohio when I graduated from high school and basically call that my hometown now.

We lived in parsonages because Daddy was a minister who was sent to churches where his gifts were put to work for the Lord and the good of the congregations. Our family was an important part of his ministry. He was one of those peacemaker-type-guys...a wonderful gift that this daughter did not inherit. Yes, I'm a PK! Shocker, huh!?! Do you know why people say that the preacher's kids are the worst ones in town? It's because they have to play with the members' kids! just sayin'

Mother took all the things that came from the years she and Daddy shared together, raising two sons and two daughters, and made them work in big houses, small houses and some in-between. She was a genius at making things work in a house, no matter what the furniture looked like or how much room she had to work with. After retirement my parents had to pare down their belongings. Then, because of their health needs, they pared down yet again to move into an apartment in the retirement community where they lived till they went to Heaven. My brothers, sisters and I divided their things and have now incorporated tangible memories of our sweet parents into our own homes.

What does one do with the remnants of childhood...special things that might not fit into the decor we've chosen as our own style...but things we don't really want to part with because of the memories? Well, once I strip the awful yellow paint from it, my carpenter grandfather's tool box that went along on his jobs will soon become our coffee table in the den. A couple of Mother's dainty lamps have been paired with new shades to brighten spaces in the two 11' x 17' guest rooms that are long and dark because of only two small windows in each. I have several of my mother's doilies scattered here and there throughout our home. One is on our mantle, another lays (or is it lay or lies...whatev) askew on the wooden ironing board I'm using as a sofa table in the den. (I bought that board when my daughter and I visited the Southern Living Fair in September of 2010 in my hometown.)

Then I got an idea - one I thought was a pretty good one. I sewed two similar-in-size doilies onto two matching pillows. They looked pretty. Then I was going through some old jewelry and found a pin that was in Mother's things, so I pinned it to the center of the doily on one of the pillows. I had an angel pin (a gift from a dear friend who is in Heaven getting to know my mother, I'm sure) which sits in the center of the doily on the other blue pillow. Since it sports an angel...and my sister collects angels...I will put that pillow on the bed in my "Sister's Room." No, my sister doesn't have her own room here, exactly. It is a guest room that has a lot of "sister" memorobilia in it...pictures of us together when we were kids, her baby picture, pictures of our brothers holding her while sitting in the very rocker that sits in that room. It is a "sister's room!" Can you tell we might be a little bit close? (insert smile here)

I still have many of Mother's things packed away that I'll utilize someday, but for now, I'm enjoying the 'repurposing' of a few of Mother's things. And when I look at them, I'll smile because they are still being used in a parsonage...ours!



Always remember: if you have a pulse, you have a purpose...so make your life count!

Laughter

I heard my husband laugh before I ever laid eyes on him! Sitting with my sister in the seminary cafeteria, I heard this wonderful laugh...the kind that comes from deep in a person's soul. My sister worked for the seminary at the time and that's the reason we were eating there...not because we were scoping out the men, even though it was a nice venue to do that in, which we didn't necessarily think about but probably were unconciously doing it anyway...

Now where was I? Ah, yes, the seminary cafeteria!

I asked my sister, Vangie, who it was that was laughing so loudly. She looked up, then looked back at her supper and matter-of-factly said, "Joe Green." I asked her to point him out...which she did...and I saw this handsome guy with dark hair and long sideburns standing at the back of the line with his arms folded across his chest, his head back, and laughing with everything he had in him. I was totally taken with his laugh! It was full and happy. I figured he must be a fun kind of guy to enjoy a laugh that much. I was right. Not long after that I married him!

I didn't marry him for his laugh, or his good looks, or the fact that he had a really cute 1970 Volkswagen Beetle...although those were nice benefits. I didn't marry him because I liked his hair, which was long and thick, covering his ears. In fact, I never saw his ears until after we were married when he came up out of the water in the hotel swimming pool. I stood on the side of the pool thinking: "Hey, that's the first time I've seen his ears...and I'm his wife!" (The ears were nice and looked as though they were a good fit with the rest of his head.) I married him because I had fallen in love with him...quickly...three-months-after-we-met-quickly...and have loved him for over 37 years. I sold my red 1967 Mustang to pay for our wedding! I MUST love the guy! (When I get hacked off with him, I tell him how much I miss my car! smile)

We laugh a lot at our house. We laugh everywhere...even when we're trying to get to sleep. Something funny will pop into our heads and we laugh. Pretty soon we can't stop laughing. In fact, our daughter slept down the hall from our bedroom and on occasion would hear us. LAUGHING! (we shut the door when we weren't laughing or sleeping) After she tired of hearing the raucous laughter from the other end of the hall, she'd call out: "You know you have a daughter down here who needs some sleep so she can go to school tomorrow!!!!!!!" We'd quiet down for a bit and giggle, but then something would happen and we'd start up again. The daughter got over it, and I hope that when we're gone from this earth, and she is old and needing to remember something fun about her parents - she will remember having to call us down for laughing too much! She's married and in her own house where she and her hubby can laugh as loudly as they want and not bother anybody but their dog, Dexter (NOT named after the serial killer, but after a jazz musician).

Just last week, I had Joe laughing in bed and begging me to stop singing:
This is a song that never ends
And it goes on and on my friends
Some people started singing it
Not knowing what it was
And they'll just keep on singing it
Forever just because
This is a song that never ends...
I can't remember why I was singing it in bed, but it was fun at the time. And now that song is stuck in your head, isn't it?!!? Go ahead...try it tonight...start humming it softly then break out into song! If you sleep alone, you'll be entertained. If you sleep with a dog you may have a howling good time. If you sleep with a cat, you might be abandoned. If you sleep with your spouse and start to sing...you may still end up alone or abandoned. (But chances are, you'll both end up laughing!)

I am one of those minister's wives who can say that her husband is just the same at home as he is everywhere else! Not every one can. He's a happy guy...and that makes for a happy wife...which makes for a happy home. Oh, we have our moments, like every other couple, but the moments of laughter are so much fun!

Proverbs 17:22 reads: "A merry heart doeth good like a medicine: but a broken spirit drieth the bones." I married a man with a merry heart!



Remember, if you have a pulse, you have a purpose...so make your life count!

Baby Names

I don't usually watch Oprah. To be honest, I think she is quite overrated. But I do think it's nice that she is rich and knows how to share her wealth.

There really aren't any good reasons why I don't particularly like her. Maybe it isn't so much that I don't like Oprah...I just feel sort of "meh" where she is concerned. Last week, I had to watch her show because she was featuring Helen and Ellen...the two sweet ladies who founded The Love Kitchen in Knoxville, Tennessee 25 years ago. I met these ladies in October and they were absolutely delightful! Helen and Ellen are twin sisters born five minutes apart and are in their 80's, still running the kitchen that reaches out to the community, feeding hungry stomachs and souls with food cooked along with plenty of love. Oprah's show was not a disappointment. She blessed The Love Kitchen with enough money to provide new appliances and coordinated with Kroger to donate LOTS of food for their cause. The show was a blessing! And then I saw the promo for another show that peaked my interest...so I watched yet again.

From my hometown, Columbus, Ohio, a couple with sextuplets were on Oprah's show. They looked adorable as their parents rolled them out in a giant stroller onto the stage in Chicago. The six babies - Olivia, Madison, Rozonno Jr., Josiah, Elijah, and Isaac - were born to Mia and Rozonno McGhee in June of 2010. The babies came after Mia had taken fertility drugs. Watching that show helped me to admire the mom and dad who prepare 24 bottles and change 36 diapers each day! "That's a lot of dung!" to quote one of my favorite SNL commercials for Oops! I Crapped My Pants Adult Diapers.

Some people have a terrible time picking out a name for one baby...much less six of them! I've known parents who take so much time picking out a name that the kid has popped out and is ready to go home from the hospital before it has a name! Some baby names are from the Bible...some from family names...some from celebrities. I heard just today that a couple recently named their first child "facebook" and figure they must have a problem leaving social networking behind. I wonder if the kid's name will be all lower case letters to stay true to it's namesake.

When our daughter was born, we named her Hannah Elizabeth. Her father chose that name five years before her birth because of the barrenness I had experienced early in our marriage, knowing that God would be faithful to give us a child. A son would be named after him. He would have had Joe's middle name "Sturm"...and a daughter would have my middle name "Elizabeth." This beautiful girl is known as Hannah to most, but also by Hannah Beth, which I think sounds rather lyrical.

Seeing the babies on Oprah this week made me think about the time I was on fertility drugs and our doctor explained to us the possibility of multiple births. He was from China and had a thick accent, which made it all the more difficult for my hard-of-hearing hubby to understand.


Dr. Lin: Fertility drugs can result in multiple births.

Hubby: Multiple births?

Dr. Lin: Yes, for instance twins...

Hubby: You mean two babies?!?

Dr. Lin: That's what twins are.


Maybe you had to be there. Anyway, it made for a giggle or two during my fertility treatment. Then my hubby decided that maybe we should pick names for more than one baby. He said he'd pick first and was certain I would love the names he chose: Winter, Ever and Forest. Winter Green, Ever Green, Forest Green.

And if we had quadruplets? Gang. Gang Green.

Maybe that's the reason God let us have only one child. He didn't like the names either.



Always remember: if you have a pulse, you have a purpose...so make your life count!

Do you think they could hear that?

Not every minister's wife can say that her husband is just the same at home as he is at church and everywhere else he goes. But I can. Joe Green is one of the happiest people I know. He is a minister of the Gospel and a great communicator. He is a devoted husband, father and friend. He has the best laugh I've ever heard. In fact, I heard him laugh before I ever laid eyes on him! A few weeks after hearing that wonderful laughter, I had dinner with him. And a few weeks later he took me home to 'meet the family.' Within three months of our first date, I was married to the man! He has taught me many things...and one thing I'm still trying to learn: Joe can laugh at himself. I take myself waaaaay too seriously and he has shown me it's okay to laugh at yourself. Let me give you a "for instance" that will illustrate this point perfectly...

One Sunday morning, Joe drank a large amount of water before church and realized during the offertory that if he was going to stay in the sanctuary for the sermon, he'd better visit the restroom. And since he was the minister delivering said sermon, he needed to move swiftly. He slipped out of the chancel area and made his way to the restroom located behind the choir loft. He 'did the deed' and flushed. Looking down, he realized his wireless microphone was still on. He quickly turned it off, then washed his hands as he wondered if the sound might have been picked up through the wall by the sound system. After all, if it was then the sound technician would likely have turned it off. But the sound guy had come down from the balcony to put his check in the offering plate...the slide for Joe's wireless microphone had not been muted.

Joe came back into the sanctuary to the beautiful strains of The Doxology: "Praise God from Whom all blessings flow..." (Ha! Get it? Flow...! Never mind.) Anyway, many of the congregation who had heard the ministerial mistake were working hard to sing and not burst into laughter at the sight of the recently relieved reverend. When the congregation sang the "Amen," he made a quick remark in jest, laughed at himself, then proceeded with the service. Pretty good, huh? He just laughed and let it go.

But not me...I told him afterward that he should have at least left the mic on long enough for the folks to hear him wash his hands!!!


Remember, friends, if you have a pulse, you have a purpose...so make your life count!