Thursday, August 16, 2012

No butts about it...

It’s no good to have a walk-in closet when you can’t walk in it. I realized that weeks ago, but just remedied the situation this morning. Along with thinning out my collection of clothes and shoes yet again, I moved things around to make navigation a little easier. Now the carpeted floor is visible! (...took me long enough to get sick of stepping on things!)

Since our move in mid-June, I haven’t found a good place to store our clean towels and extra rolls of bathroom tissue. So this morning I remedied that situation, too, by installing a shelf over the closet door. Now I have nice stacks of clean towels at the ready. I just have to stand on a little stool to reach them is all...

The bathroom tissue/toilet paper storage issue was solved by installing a similar shelf in our water closet. Yes, it’s a water closet. At least I guess that’s what it is called. Maybe it’s a bathroom stall. Or a toilet room.

I like calling it a water closet. Sounds kind of impressive. Like maybe we have a fancy, big house, which we don’t. But hey, if bathroom talk is meant to be impressive...I’ll settle for water closet.

As I began to unpack the boxes of spare bathroom tissue to put on our new shelf, I had a revelation. We have entirely too much toilet paper for only two occupants!!! There are two bathrooms in this house and 41 rolls of paper. Yes, you read it right. 41 rolls. And that isn’t counting the packages from a Knoxville wholesale club that are on a shelf in our garage. How did two people (with one bottom each) end up owning so much toilet paper? I have no answer. But I won’t have to put that on our shopping list for quite some time to come!

How many people spend their valuable time counting rolls of toilet paper? Your answer doesn’t count if it has anything to do with stocking retail shelves or working for Charmin. It’s just that as I began putting the rolls on the new shelf, I realized there was a ridiculous amount of the stuff!

But compared to the news out last week from NPR, my collection of toilet paper isn’t so unusual. I just wish it were for such a noble cause...
The Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation is buying 50 pounds of fake poop to test high-tech toilets they're creating for third-world countries at their ‘Reinvent the Toilet Fair’ next week.

Read even more by going to:

And how many people spend valuable time reading about funny names for toilet paper? Me, for one. The following are actual trademarked toilet paper brand failures...not the paper itself, just the names.
Tainted Love Bath Tissue
Bear In The Woods (Oak Scented, Extra Strong) Toilet Paper
Quilted Arse-A-Nol
Mr. Poopy Posterior E-Z Single Serve Buttwipers
Cottony Soft Sphincter Delight
Justin Beiber’s Bum B-Kleen

I’d love to wrap up this blog posting with something really funny or clever but I’ve got nothing.
Unless it would be to say that I’m wiped out and just can’t type anymore.
That’ll do.

Always remember that if you have a pulse, you have a purpose. Make your life count!