Is it time for Life Alert already?!?

Picture a narrow space between our bed and the wall it sits close to.  I sleep on that side of the bed and when I get up in the dark I'm very aware that the wall has always been there and it isn't going to move.  I must tread carefully.  (By the way, I just stopped composing this long enough to measure the space between the bed frame and the wall.  22½ inches.  Seriously.)

Now picture me finishing a phone conversation while stretched out on my stomach across the middle of the bed.  I hang up and began to wonder where my glasses disappeared to last night.  I knew they'd been on the nightstand but I had knocked some things off about 3 a.m. and figured the glasses were under the bed where I found the other stuff.  Still laying on my stomach across the middle of the bed, I lean over to look for the glasses.  Couldn't see anything so I stretched a little farther.  And a little farther.  Farther still...

Now picture this grown woman who slid off the bed into the baseboard of the wall next to the bed that is 22½ inches away.  A big part of my body weight was pushing my head into the wooden baseboard and floor's 90-degree angle from the wall.  Yes.  That's a lot of weight.  And a lot of pressure on my neck which hasn't been in the best condition in years!   

I couldn't get out of that position!  I couldn't roll over on the bed.  I couldn't use my arms to push myself up from that awkward place.  I also couldn't use my arms to push myself back onto the bed.  That ship had already sailed!  I was stuck.  So I called out to my husband.  Several times.  He finally realized those muffled calls were coming from the bedroom and rushed in.  

First question.  "Hey, Beth!  Whatcha doin'?"  

It looked obvious what I was doing...or unable to do...but at least he was thoughtful enough to ask before laughing at me.

It took more than five minutes for me to get out of that position.  I couldn't let Joe help me because there wasn't enough room for both of us in those 22½ inches!  All this time, my head and neck are holding me hostage against that wall and the pain is getting worse!  But Joe explained that I needed to let the rest of my body relax and slide off the bed in the same direction my head was.  I still cannot figure how I got this figure folded up on the floor and on top of the throw rug so I could back myself out!  But I did!  Who knew a girl built like me could be a contortionist?!?!  

My neck hurts.  The headache lasted a long time.  But seeing my Osteopath in the morning should make everything feel better!  Sure glad I already had the appointment!

When I was texting with my daughter, Hannah, I told her a little bit about this morning's  adventure.  First thing she texted back was, "Oh my word!  Is it time for Life Alert already?"  

Could be, kiddo...because we both know your mom's just a few more moves away from becoming Lucy Ricardo!  

Remember: if you have a pulse you have a purpose.  Make your life count!