Monday, April 21, 2014

I like to make people laugh...

Have you ever heard an organ recital?

No, not the kind where everyone sits and enjoys the musical presentation of a talented organist. I’m talking about when people talk about their ailments and how things aren’t working the way they used to. My daddy always called those comments “organ recitals” and would get a laugh out of us every time.

Far be it from me to give you a rundown on all the things I’ve had done over the years. But I will. I’ve had quite a few things repaired. In fact, by the time Joe and I have been married 50 years, he’s gonna have a whole new girl! Damaged retinas led to cataracts which led to lens implants. Carpel tunnel surgeries repaired the problems with my hands. Both feet have had bunions and joints removed. And most recently, I had a total knee replacement.

Add to all that, the eight abdominal surgeries I’ve had. For one of those, my sister sent me a card filled with stickers. Each sticker had instructions for the doctors and nurses. They were to be placed on my body...things like “Start Here” and “Stop Here” and “Scratch Here” and others which were funny, so I used a few of them. When I went for surgery, I placed the ‘start’ and ‘stop’ stickers in the appropriate places. From what I heard later, the surgeon got a good laugh out of it in the operating room. The ‘scratch here’ sticker was applied to my bandage before the dressing was changed.

The funny factor of those stickers led to me taping a note on my belly each time I was headed to the operating room.

“Please stand on my other side for this surgery so you can straighten out the crooked incision you made the last time.”

“Could you take out about 60 pounds of fat while you’re in here?”

And one that I copied the Blue Cross/Blue Shield logo onto an official looking letter, complete with a flesh colored 9 inch zipper attached. It read “Please install attached zipper in order to cut insurance costs. You know you’ll be in here again within two years.”

Another one read, “Rental space available for your valuables for a small fee.”

I’d had a tube and ovary removed many years before my hysterectomy, so that was a fun note...
“Since you’re only removing part of the equipment, could I have a discount?”

My surgeon went to talk with my husband and parents after that operation was done, took the note and folded it into a paper airplane. He threw it at Joe and said, “your wife is just not right!” They all had a good laugh.

The doc was right. I’m not right. But I do have a lot of fun!

Wish I could have thought of a funny note to leave before my knee replacement...I didn’t. But I asked the surgeon during a pre-op visit if I could have my kneecap when it was over. He asked, “what in the world for?!?!?”

I told him I had a wobbly table at the house that I could use it under.

(I didn’t get it. He glued it onto my new knee. Party pooper.)

Remember...if you have a pulse, then you have a purpose. Make your life count!

1 comment:

  1. You are a riot! Love your outlook, your humor and your beautiful smile. Thanks for making me smile today!