Saturday, March 15, 2014

Way to go, Belk! (I speak fluent sarcasm.)

The scripture in Psalm 139:14 reads: “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” (NIV)

Okay. I believe that I am fearfully and wonderfully made, because God’s Word tells me so. I also believe that over the years, I’ve altered God’s creation a great deal. No tattoos. No piercings, except for 1972 when my then-boyfriend pierced my ears at a kitchen table with alcohol, a large needle and a piece of styrofoam. (We didn’t have a potato to use, and when that styrofoam crunched, I nearly passed out!) In 1987, I had second holes pierced in my lobes, so my 2 year-old daughter could see what the ladies were going to do when she had her lobes pierced. (I dressed that kid in pink from head-to-toe, but her barely-there-hair had people mistaking her for a boy...hence the pierced ears.)

In the last several years I have discovered a new avenue in my life. I’ve been doing stand-up comedy in many venues...singing and sharing humor...and my body has become the brunt of many of my jokes. I do routines for mixed company; for women only; for senior adults; and whomever hires me for a laugh. Don’t get me wrong. My body is no laughing matter. But when I can joke about it and make tears run down somebody’s’s a pretty good day!

For instance...
My body is a Temple of the Holy Spirit, but I’ve added on a Fellowship Hall. When I was pregnant, it was a Family Life Center. Now that I’m 60, things have begun to shift and I think I’ve become a Multi-Purpose Room!

How about these?
I’m on a 30-day diet. So far I’ve lost 10 days.
Actually, I’m on several diets at once because I couldn’t get enough to eat on just one.
I didn’t make it to the gym today. That makes three years in a row.

But today, I didn’t think it was so funny when I went to the Belk store at West Town Mall, shopping for a specific pant I’d seen advertised. I looked all over the store and finally asked a sales person where the plus-sizes were located. I was informed that all the plus-sized clothing was sold in a different building with mens wear, children’s clothing, appliances and home goods.

Same store. Belk. Different building. I felt kind of odd about that.

It was as if we plus-sized shoppers were relegated to the ‘back room’ where we wouldn’t be seen. It was kind of like, Cinderella being locked in the attic when Prince Charming came by with the other glass she wouldn’t be seen while the step-sisters attempted to squeeze into that tiny shoe.

The plus-sized collection was not nearly as big as I’d imagined since it was placed in a different building. That was disappointing. I found the pant I was looking for, but decided that today I wouldn’t give Belk my business. I’m sure I’ll break down and shop there again someday because I’ve always liked their store. But today, I didn’t like Belk. And I plan to write to management to voice my complaint.

Maybe these feelings are from some deep-seeded problem I don’t know I have. Maybe something happened to me when I was a kid that made me react the way I did today. Or maybe the feelings are because I know I need to lose weight. (Which I am, by the way.) But I felt a bit like a second-class citizen because of the location of what they call “Today’s Woman” clothing. Today’s Woman, my foot.

Tonight, I’m not a happy camper. Can you tell?

Usually I can find something funny in a situation. But not this time. Belk at West Town Mall in Knoxville, are on my list. (Actually I don’t have a list, but if I ever do, you’ll be on it!)

Even though I’m disgruntled tonight...just as I always do, I will still close with this reminder:
If you have a pulse, then you have a purpose. Make your life count!

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