Monday, March 18, 2013

For here or to go...

On a recent drive from our family home in Virginia, I became extremely sleepy. Driving while sleepy is as dangerous as being drunk and is considered impaired driving. I knew I couldn’t keep going...something I wish drunk drivers would realize. Even as I was on the exit ramp I wasn’t in full control. I was on the ramp. My car was where it should be, but I was so very sleepy, I’d taken my foot off the accelerator and was at a crawl. When I realized what I was doing, I quickly looked to see if anyone was behind me. Thankfully, I was alone in my stupidity. I pulled into a busy parking area of the first gas station I saw, made sure my doors were locked, cracked my windows for a bit of air, then promptly fell asleep. About 45 minutes later, I awakened and felt refreshed.

I got out and walked around a bit to stretch, then went into the McDonald’s next door for a snack. An ice cream cone seemed like the perfect thing. I placed my order and the young lady at the register asked if it was “...for here or to go.” Hello? It’s an ice-cream cone!

Later on that question struck me as funny, so I posted it on my facebook page. Several good comments were made...
Greg: “Did they offer you a hot apple pie with that?”
Robyn: “Was she going to put it in a bag if it was ‘to go’?”
Kelly: “You should have told it it was to go and then when she handed it to you, you should have said, ‘oh, i’m sorry...i said that was to go...’”
Wes: “I will have a Caesar salad.” Cashier asked, “What kind of dressing on that sir?” Then Wes wrote...”Heeeere’s yer sign!”
Rick: “Oh, Beth. Have you not bought fast food for a while? In Ohio, it is taxed if eaten in the restaurant, and tax free if taken to go. Very likely wherever you were it is the same way.” (I was in East Tennessee, and I should know the tax laws here, but I must admit that I do not.)

Her question made me start to think about other stupid questions. Right here I should tell you that I wasn’t allowed to use the word ‘stupid’ when I was growing up. Mother would actually wash my mouth out with Dove Soap if she heard me say it. Dove is not very tasty.

But I digress...

Other ‘duh’ questions (how’s that, Mom?) that come to mind are things like the following:
Q: Where were you when you last saw your keys?
Duh: If I knew that I wouldn’t be looking for them right now.
Q: Do you remember where you laid your phone?
Duh: If I knew that I wouldn’t be looking for it right now.
Q: What time is the Midnight Christmas Eve Service going to start?

Duh: Duh!

I can speak fluent sarcasm, just so you know. In’s my second language.

But as much as stuff like that bugs me, I have been known to make the brilliant proclamation to someone who was looking for something they’d misplaced: “It’s always in the last place you look!” 

Duh, Beth. Of course it is. Why would one keep looking when the lost has been found!??!?

All this reminds me of my mother...not because she was the Dove-mouth-washing-mother...but the funny mother. This was a woman who laughed at a joke three times. When you told it. When you explained it. And a few hours later when she’d get it.

Daddy never once called her a ding-bat...but he would sometimes smile and call her “Edith” of Edith-Bunker-All in the Family television show-fame. Mother was not stupid in the least, but sometimes things would zip over her head and we’d have to explain.

Come to think of it. I’m a bit like my mother in that regard.

I guess that’s why I was nearly home when I realized that cashier asked me if the ice cream cone was “for here or to go.” I’m a little slow on the uptake sometimes!

“If you have a pulse, then you have a purpose. Make your life count!”

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