Friday, February 17, 2012


Have you ever been desperate?

I consulted Merriam-Webster about this and my feelings were confirmed. What I experienced this week in Walmart was true desperation. The dictionary had definitions such as: having lost no ground for hope...moved by despair...suffering extreme need or anxiety...involving extreme danger or possible disaster...of extreme intensity.

I’d been running errands most of the day and needed some items. If I had been shopping for just groceries, I’d have gone to my local Kroger or Food City. But I needed more than that, so Walmart was my store of choice.

You could say I was desperate for “falling prices” but you’d be wrong. (...and this is where you might want to stop reading if bathroom humor or experience isn’t something you like to have discussed in your presence. Of course, I am not in your presence at this, never mind.)

As I shopped, I knew I needed to find the restroom. At first I thought, “you’ll be home in fifteen minutes.” And so I finished shopping for the items on my list.

There is something that a bathroom and a cemetery have in common: when you gotta gotta go. And I had to go.

I’m in the middle of Walmart...restrooms in the front of the store and restrooms in the back. How convenient. So I made my way to the back restrooms because they are almost always cleaner. When I got there, I found out why they’re almost always cleaner. The ladies’ restroom was closed for cleaning. For a brief moment I wished I had been a man. Brief.

Just the thought of not being able to use the restroom right away made the feeling I had even worse. Yes, you could say I started to get desperate.

I grabbed my buggy (AKA shopping cart) and made my way to the front of the store. Suddenly every ‘I’m-just-slowly-wandering-the-aisles-and-looking-at-everything’ shopper was in any aisle that I hurried down! Every time I would make a dodge to another aisle, there they were AGAIN!!!

Desperation. Then a moment of relief. No, not that kind of relief. It was the ‘near-the-front-of-the-store’ kind of relief. Ah, yes! I was getting closer!!!

Then I saw a blasted cleaning cart at the restroom entrance and my hopes were dashed. Desperation turned into flat out panic!

A closer look revealed that it was the men’s room being cleaned. I didn’t actually say it outloud but I was so grateful that I was a woman at that moment that I was saying “hallelujah” in my heart!

You don’t want me to finish this story. Suffice to say the desperation left to speak!

And it reminds me of when I was almost seven months pregnant and my baby girl was tap-dancing on my bladder. We were traveling through Dothan, Alabama on our way home from a vacation at the beach. When my hubby finally found a rest area and pulled in, I was opening the door on our Volvo before he even could stop the car. I ran toward the ladies’ room and flung the door open. There was a little lady who was drying her hands when I crammed her into the wall with the door! I ran into the stall at the same time I realized what I’d done to her. Sweet relief and apologies were flowing. When I came out, she was still in there. As I washed my hands, I apologized again for what I’d done to her. She saw that I was pregnant and smiled when she said, “It’s alright, dear...I heard you coming but I couldn’t get out of the way in time!”

Remember those definitions I mentioned above?
Desperation: having lost no ground for hope...moved by despair...suffering extreme need or anxiety...involving extreme danger or possible disaster...of extreme intensity.
They describe every single emotion I had in Walmart that day. And in Dothan, Alabama. I don’t like having emotions like that.

Now if you’ll excuse me...I need to find a restroom.

Always remember that if you have a pulse, you have a purpose. Make your life count!

1 comment:

  1. Keeping it real Beth! I love this story. I think everybody can relate in some way or another. Hope you are well! Or at least I hope you are not desperate. Wal-Mart makes me feel that way - not my favorite store.