Random Thoughts:

• Who decides what the flavor should be on the envelope glue you lick for greeting cards? I have been on a diet when I would actually enjoy tasting the glue because it was a little sweet. That is pathetic.

• How do male psychiatrists deal with a menopausal wife?

• Does the Pope ever find a piece of furniture in the dark, hurt his toe, and then say something bad under his breath?

• Who decided that one could drink whatever came out of a cow’s udders?

• What does your hairdresser think when he/she runs into you in a social situation? Are you having the kind of hair-day that they hope no one in the room knows that you are a client? It takes a lot of guts for me to sit next to my hairdresser nearly every Sunday morning.

• When a dog’s treat rolls under the refrigerator, will he EVER forget that it went under there?

• Do angry chefs really spit on your food when you send it back because it wasn’t done quite to your liking? I don’t like seasoning on my steaks and always order them “naked” so one time when I was served an obviously seasoned steak, I jokingly told the server to either rinse that one off or get another for me. She came back to my table about two minutes later with the same steak, sitting in a puddle of water! I am not kidding!!! (After sharing my dilemma with the restaurant manager, I got a free dinner…but kept wondering if the chef or server got even with me one way or another.)

• When a constantly screaming child’s parent FINALLY gets up and takes the kid out of a restaurant after about five minutes…is it okay to applaud? I did that one day at Olive Garden, but I clapped very quietly under the table. (…and I know that there are kids that have special needs and have a rough time in crowds, but it seemed pretty certain to me that this wasn’t one of them, so don’t hate me for clapping quietly.)

• Do you think Regis is driving his wife, Joy, nuts now that he has retired from his television show?

• Will we ever get away from reality TV shows? Please tell me we will!

• Why do we get on elevators, then turn around and watch the doors until it’s time to disembark? Are the doors going to open by surprise?

• And speaking of elevators…why not sing while we’re riding? My hubby did that once. We got on a crowded elevator for a lengthy ride and he invited everyone to sing a song with him! We sang “You Are My Sunshine” even as we stopped on every floor. As people got off, then others got on, we kept singing. When Joe and I reached the top floor and got off…one gentleman (who had boarded on the main floor with us) remained on the elevator. Joe asked him if that wasn’t his floor, too. He said, “No. I just wanted to finish the song with you.”

• Why do some people never miss a good chance to shut up? I have a button that reads: “I love the sound you make when you stop talking.”

And on that note, I’ll end the ponderings for now.




Always remember that if you have a pulse, you have a purpose…so make your life count!