Pretzel Legs

I found it in a meme and knew it needed to have some music to go with it. Here's the line I wrote into a song I use in my comedy show: 

"And when I sneeze or cough, my exhaust backfires..."

Way too many women understand this line better than any of us want to admit. I have contorted into more positions than a Barnum & Bailey acrobat when I feel a cough getting ready to erupt!  My nickname should be Pretzel Legs because I cough so much!  And the sneezes can be even more powerful, so I not only contort my body, my face looks like I'm giving birth to an elephant!

(Maybe I need to explain the reason for the pre-sneeze/cough contortion of the body to any of the males reading this.  Nah!  They understand, except they 'air' out their problems in a different direction. I don't think I need to explain that.)

As women mature, things change.  That's one reason it's called The Change. During puberty, people say, "you're becoming a woman!"  When you're going through the change no one tells you what you're becoming.  For a while, I thought I was becoming a man!  Okay, I'm kidding!  But those hairs on my chin?  Seriously?!?  

I'd like to leave you with this little tidbit of wisdom...    

Just know, when it comes to 'the change' and all that 'goes' with it - 'Always' have the 'Assurance' and 'Poise' to deal with those things.  And remember to relax and not worry about it.  Do you think I relax and don't worry?  Well, it all 'Depends' on the situation.  

If you have a pulse, you have a purpose.  Make your life count!

 

I had to do it. I had no choice.

There is no excuse. 

I had to do it.  I had no choice in the matter except to go ahead and order it.   Why?  Because I am that Grandma.  I have over a thousand photos on my phone and most of them are shots of my granddaughters.  I tell people about them...even when they don't ask.  It's my job as a grandma.  

Been there.  Done that.  Bought the teeshirt:

If you have a pulse, you have a purpose.  Make your life count!

Happy Mother's Day...every day!

My mother was so precious!  Everybody loved her!  I always knew I wanted to be a mother.  Just before my husband and I got married in 1974 we already had names picked out for a boy (Joshua) and a girl (Jennifer)!  

After a difficult time of getting pregnant and then staying pregnant, I had given up on motherhood.  But God had different plans and gave us an actual promise!  After 11 years of trying, our daughter was born.  She didn't get the name we picked in 1974 because a lot of time and experience caused her daddy to change the name to Hannah Elizabeth five years before she arrived!  (During labor, I even asked Joe if we could change the name if we had a boy.  Our son would have been named Joseph Sturm Green, after his wonderful daddy!)

Hannah is 37-years old, a wife and mother, and Sr. Creative Director, Global - Warner Bros. Discovery.  All the sketch pads, crayons, colored pencils and pens we bought when she was a kid turned out to be a pretty good investment!  She graduated from the University of Tennessee in Knoxville with a degree in Graphic Design, was the managing editor of CityView magazine (a Knoxville publication) and went on to work for the company that brings you networks like HGTV, Magnolia, TLC, Food Network, Cooking Channel, CNN, HLN, Motortrend (one of my favs), TBS, TCM, and so many more!  Hannah came on board years ago at Scripps, Inc. and that company has grown and changed and is now Warner Bros. Discovery

Joe and I are proud of all the accomplishments Hannah has made and she'll go on to do so much more!  She has her biggest cheerleader by her side...her husband Andrew...and that is the best part of all!  Both of them are awesome parents to two brilliant and beautiful daughters who will welcome their baby brother this fall!  We are so excited to meet him in November!  

Before Hannah was conceived, God made a promise that Joe and I would have the desires of our hearts...that we would have a child of our own.  And we did!  She has several siblings in Heaven but we are so thankful God fulfilled that promise He made through a total stranger, who had no way of knowing all that we had been through!  That stranger told Hannah's daddy that she would come!  And I promised God that I would share that miracle with anyone who would listen.  In concerts I performed, in speaking engagements, I shared the miracle.  That's a lot for a kid to grow up hearing over and over.  God made a verbal promise of HER LIFE through one of his followers!!!  A total stranger!  

How much pressure can that put on a girl who is discovering the gifts and graces that God bestowed upon her?!?  Did this promise that God fulfilled in her birth mean she had to be a minister, a missionary, a biblical professor, or the next Mother Teresa?  No!  She doesn't have to be any of those things because she is busy being exactly the woman God created her to be!  We pray that she will always keep in mind who she is and WHOSE she is.  We gave her back to the Lord the day she arrived!  

Happy Mother's Day to all you women reading this!  Happy Mother's Day to Cindy, the woman who gave birth to our wonderful son-in-law!  And I especially wish a Happy Mother's Day to Hannah...with so much love and admiration I could burst!  (I love watching you be a mom!)

Remember this: if you have a pulse, you have a purpose.  Make your life count!

My sister, Vangie...

It's now ten years since my sister went to Heaven.  She passed away unexpectedly a day or so after a medical procedure...on January 21, 2013.  I miss the girl.  I miss us...our daily phone conversations, the laughter, and even the occasional drama.  We weren't done.  Vangie's birthday is this week, on March 22nd.  She would have been 73.  I would have called her at a ridiculously early hour just so I could be the first to wish her a happy birthday.  We did that to one another.  (smile) 

The hardest thing 

is not talking to someone 

you used to talk to every day...

If you have a pulse, you have a purpose.  Make your life count.

"Tomorrow is another day..."

Granddaughters are ballerinas on Tuesday afternoons, so after their class they and their mom came to Grandaddy & Grandma’s house for supper.  As they were coming into our house, calling out our names, Hannah took a photo.  Now it is one of my favorites because when I look at it I can just hear them calling out to us, bringing laughter and fun through our front door!   

Ophelia asked what was for supper and I told her, “Breakfast!”  She asked about bacon and of course there HAS to be bacon!  A big smile came across her face!  Azalea got busy with a project I had put on their little table in the kitchen – coloring a wooden photo frame/ornament for our Christmas tree.  Soon both of them were busy coloring their ornaments.  

After dinner, while the adults were visiting, the girls went to their play area under the steps...a little space with a play kitchen, a stack of drawers for all their treasures, dolls, stuffed animals, doll clothes, etc. and books.  Lots and lots of books.  The place is cramped for two little girls, so they know it’s  okay to bring the things they want to play with into the sitting room.  Azalea asked if I’d come in and read to them, so the three of us cuddled together for some stories.  

 

Soon it was time to head home.  Hannah told the girls to pick up their things and put them away for next time.  But it was nearly their bedtime, so I told her I’d put everything away.  After hugs, kisses, and goodbyes.  The house was quiet again.  Little did Hannah know that I had no intention of putting anything away just yet.  All the things they pulled from their play space last night are exactly where they left them.   

 

I like seeing the evidence that our granddaughters came for another visit!    And I’ll put things away...eventually.  To quote Miss Scarlett, “Tomorrow is another day!”  

 

I have officially become the grandmother I used to make fun of.

Always remember: if you have a pulse, you have a purpose.  Make your life count!

Most comforting thing I've read this week...

 

Remember me between the stitches...

I used to write a blog about sewing.  Since that blog is sort of gone with the wind, I decided to share just a few of my favorite postings from that blog on this one. 

December 26, 2009...

    I would like to share an email I got from a friend that I see once a year - at Camp Sychar in Mt. Vernon, Ohio. She and I grew up there, albeit many years apart! I am 56 years old and she's a spring chicken! 

    After looking at some of my pictures on facebook and reading the blog posting about my dear Mother, Kim Harmon sent this note: "I remember your Mother from when I was little and I was just telling my kids the other day (while looking @ your photos) how kind she was to everyone. She ALWAYS had such a sweet smile and sweet spirit about her that even though I didn't get to know her as much as I now wish I would have, I'm so thankful for the example she gave us during those short 10 days of the year that we spend together.  I also wanted to share with you a little quote my Grandmother DeLong wrote in my Diary when I was a small little girl. She died when I was 12, and the Diary is a "Holly Hobbie" one so I know I must have been like 8-9 years old maybe when she signed it.... she wrote: 'When you're old and mending britches ~ remember me between the stitches.'  Maybe you've heard that before but I loved what she wrote and through the years it's made me smile when I mend something and think of her. I have her old Sewing Basket, which I use as my own. It's extremely unorganized and still has most of Grandma's stuff in it! I just can't get the nerve up to throw stuff out!"  Thank you, Kim, for sharing that with me!

Reading that post again made me smile.  I had the sweetest mother and I'm glad other people knew that, too!  

Always remember that if you have a pulse, you have a purpose.  Make your life count!